I often commit mistakes
Tell me when I am wrong
Punish me; if necessary
But do not foresake me please.
You may leave me feeling let down
But never leave me alone
You may not back me always
But never turn your back on me
Without your support...
I have no meaningful existence !

Looks more like forgiveness. Wanted to share a thing or two about the same.

Very few people can actually forgive. Forgiveness is more about forgetting and less about saying, “It’s OK.” Forgiveness as a value, is made for the one who forgives and not for the one who asks for it. You feel good when you forgive someone; and it is more than the relief that the other person feels.

The best way to ask for forgiveness is not expensive gifts / dinners. It is only a ‘Dil Say’ apology. If you cannot say it, write it. Nothing works better. But again, that is just my opinion ! Nothing in this world is worth enough, to lose the best people in our lives. And if your ego comes in between your sorry, may be you just don’t deserve that relationship … If no apology works, just send this poem

P.S – This poem has been taken from a book called ‘Divine Whispers’

I have been made to get into this habit of absolutely planning out blogposts before they are on roll. But, sometimes, it is a just a super random thing like today. One of those days when I do not understand – why are women like this !

(Katrina Kaif because I love this picture  )

Women and Love

1) There is no creature in the world which can love like a woman does. Not humanly or non-humanly possible. She can stop showing but she cannot stop caring. Ever. Not in her nature.

2) Women do not fall out of love (another side of the 1st point). Yes they move on. They can love other people. But with all their heart, they can love only one person in their whole life. No one can change it.

3) As in love; so in jealousy. Heard this somewhere and found it to be really true – “A jealous woman is a better detective than any trained one”  … The woman who says she is not jealous is lying, to be very honest. Jealousy is ingrained in women as deep as (to the point of exaggeration) Marina Trench is deep into the earth  . And yes, there is absolutely no logic behind them getting jealous. But still they do.

Women Rules

4) We love breaking rules. We set the rules ‘no expectations’ but we end up expecting the most out of people. And as the ‘expectation story’ goes, they never get fulfilled. And then comes the crankiness. We cannot say that we started expecting things out of people because it was our RULE to ‘not expect’ … I swear ! Sometimes, the complexities of being a woman amazes me.

5) It is true when men say – it is difficult to understand women. Our mood swings are as erratic as the MET’s predictions. Nothing doing. One moment we are all happy and next moment the clouds of irritation start looming large. Ofcourse it will always be related to something we cannot have ! 

6) Women love shopping ! Or Presents for that matter. They might say that they don’t need it. In fact, my favorite dialogues (used some of them myself) – “Please ! I don’t need it now” / “You don’t have to spend so much on me” / “I won’t be able to gift a better one” . Modesty I tell you. The insides are brimming with joy that someone finds us special enough to gift us something. Crazy women 

Funny but that’s how we are ! 

7) Dear Men. You check out every woman on the road. We check out only the classy ones  … Yes. We do. And we too analyze them the same way as you do. Ok may be we don’t get into the depths of imagination. But yes, and we can tell more about a woman from that check out session than you can. Okay ! no competition. I think we differ in the basic perspective 

8 ) We fuss over things and we like them to be perfect. I know it gets irritating after a level. We start the criticising session which everyone hates. Sometimes even we do. Ah ! Difficult task. Being a woman. I tell you. We fiddle and fidget with table cloths, bed sheets, wardrobes, desks etc etc but then – that is what makes a home right ! Though, there are breeds of disorganized women too (I being one of them  ) … Lemme give a secret. If your woman loves you, your home will never be messy.

9) Women love praise. We absolutely love it. We will keep on saying, “It’s okay. I did it for you. You don’t have to thank. You are a friend. Are you in a bad mood; since you are praising me.” And all those cheesy lines. But, andar ke baat ye hai ki, we feel really happy when someone does that. Okay. Lemme tell you one more ‘andar ki baat’ – Most of the times, we do know whether the praise is real or perfunctionary. But then, we just take it because, it is true that when we do something, we do it for ourselves and not for anyone else. It is all because it matters to us. Not because it does to the person we did it for.

10) Yes we believe in happy endings. What’s wrong in being at least this mushy ? It is chocolate that melts a woman to a great level. But it is only love that melts her to the greatest level.  A movie dialogue and a random quotation I would like to quote (forgot the author).

Dialogue – “A woman only wants that she be loved by her man in a way that no one else has ever loved anyone in this world.” (Rab ne bana di Jodi) …  Yes it is true. Whatever kind of woman your woman is, if you love her like this, she is yours forever. And it doesn’t take 24 hours a day to do that. Just 10 minutes which are akin to moments worthy of 24hrs would suffice.

Thought – ” The most precious possession that comes to a man is a woman’s heart” . True, but I won’t explain. Fall in love in a pure way and you will get to see for yourself.

Attention !! This post has been co-written by Ankita Jha (a maverick friend of mine) … and, Sorry if any lady gets hurt or feels ‘Hey ! I am not like this’ – baby, get a grip. Truth hurts  … Even I am like this and I am proud to be like this.

Lessons: 

1. BlackBerry is an addiction but I am glad I am not addicted to it (My mom might disagree). Proof – my battery lasts almost one and half days  Lesson – you can choose to give in to temptations. Not necessary that they win over you !

2.The more apps you use, the faster the battery dies. Useless apps kill its energy.
Lesson – Same with me. Useless things, kill my energy. Uninstall useless applications on your life’s smartphone. Save energy !

3. The phone has great benefits. It helps me connect well with the best people in my life faster. I might always use a smartphone now (damn this bragging).
Lesson – Never leave the best things in life if they make it easy for you. Technology is about the benefits of the device. Not just about the device.

4. Sometimes the BBM slows down. Dunno who should I blame. Airtel or EDGE. It is then that I realize, I did live without a phone and I still can.
Lesson – It is ok to be unreachable at times ! That is usually the ‘me time’.

5. My phone doesn’t have an FM. Or an inbuilt photo editing application. At first I used to crib. Then I realized, it is supposed to be a business phone.
Lesson –  Keep it to the point. Be it anything. There is no need for extras and useless complications. The hard disk must be kept uncluttered.

]]> http://arunima21.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/5-lessons-the-blackberry-taught-me/feed/ 2 blackberry in hands sandunes blackberry in hands http://arunima21.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/the-love-thing/ http://arunima21.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/the-love-thing/#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2012 17:58:39 +0000 Arunima http://arunima21.wordpress.com/?p=643 ]]>

The title reminds me of the book ‘The thing called love’ … I faintly remember the story I guess. Correct me if I am wrong, it talks about ‘true love’ apparently. So many true loves around where the truth changes mirror every other day !

I was just remembering a few ‘so called’ ‘awesome’ love stories around me in the past few years. All had a pattern. First few days of courtship were like – ‘no one else in this world exists’ . After 3 months – ‘ok. I have other things to do’ . After that – ‘Dear ! why the hell do u exist’

I am not sure if I am right or not, but I believe, every relationship needs a base of friendship. I am so reminded of the dialogue from the movie ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’ which was - ‘Pyaar dosti hai. Agar woh meri sabse acchi dost nahi bann sakti, toh main ussey kabhi pyaar kar hee nahi sakta’ 

Arey ! call nahi kiya toh nahi kiya. Kisi aur ko dekh liya toh dekh liya. Late ho gaya toh ho gaya. Trust your better half with the fact that, however much he/she roams around, at the end he/she is going to come back to you. Because if he doesn’t, there might be no point in waiting /wasting time.

Life is not the thing to be wasted in trivialities. It is when these small and not at all important issues came up; that I also saw the worst of fights in the awesomest of relationships. Why give so much of an emotional hangover to the one person you are most emotionally attached to ? Why make the other person feel the knots of the strings you are attached with ?

Love, as I see it is much more than just being available for each other. It is more about being available for a 3rd reason as I was told by someone. And true it is. If your relationship doesn’t have a common purpose, making it work might just be a tough call, a drag.

Ok. Love is important. But life needs more. It is the things that love makes you do that constitute life. One could do wonders but not without purpose. Be it love. Be it life.

Being foolishly in love will take not take anyone, anywhere. Because, again I heard it somewhere :

Love is not the heart of life. It is just a part of life.

The day it is more love and less friendship in any relationship, is the day the love graph starts declining

This post again, is on poems, shayri… Ghazal this time; along with lyrics and video and a ‘nearly okayish translation’ (forgive any mistakes. The translation has been aided by google. If anyone who knows Urdu could give a proper translation, would be great) … Here it is -

Ye inaayatein ghazab ki  (The strangeness of favor)
Ye bala ki meherbaani  (The obligation / misfortune)
Meri khairiyat bhi poochi  ( He asked my well being)
Kisi aur ki zubaani  (But through someone else)

Meri bezubaan aankhon se  (Through my speechless eyes)
Gire jo chand katre  (Fell a few teardrops)
Jo samajh sako toh aansu  (If you understand, they are tears)
Naa samajh sako toh paani  (If you don’t, they are just water)

Mere khoon-e-aarzoo ko  (My blood which has imbibed love)
Woh samajh rahe hain paani   (He takes it to be water)
Unhe hosh tak naa aaya  (He couldn’t realize it)
Ye guzar gayi jawaani  (My youth has come to an end now)

Sunni nahi hai humko  (I don’t want to listen to it)
Kisi aur ki zubaani  (From someone else)
Teri subah keh rahi hai  (Your morning is the witness)
Teri raat ki kahaani  (Of the stories of your night)

Ye inaayatein ghazab ki
Ye bala ki meherbaani …  

The lyrics are just not enough. You have to listen to this FAB song …

To you !!

Mat dekh ki koi shaks gunehgaar kitna hai 
ye dekh ki tere sang wafadar kitna hai,
Mat soch ki use nafrat hai kuch logon se
ye dekh ki use tujhse pyar kitna hai,
Mat dekh ki wo tanha kyu baitha hai itna
ye dekh use tera intezar kitna hai,
Beshak tere ashiq ka tujh bin kuch nahi
dekh zara wo tera talabgar kitna hai,
Mat le uske ishq ka imtehan
Bata usko ke wo tera hakdar kitna hai….

For those who don’t understand Hindi ; here is the translation of the poem

Don’t judge your man by the charges he has on him,
Rather, see how faithful he is with you…
Don’t think about the hatred he has for others,
Rather, see the depth of his love for YOU…
Don’t ponder over why he is so lonely in this world,
Rather, see the time he spends waiting for you…
Sure, your man has no other possessions apart from you,
But, appreciate the amount of claim he has on you…
Don’t try to test his LOVE for you
Just tell him how he rightfully owns you

(Men – change the gender. It may fit into your life as well )

Disclaimer – I do not know who wrote this shayri. I didn’t

I am not fond of partying
Am I old fashioned ? May be…

I don’t drink or smoke or like those who do …
Am I backward ? Shayad …

I don’t talk much these days
Am I reserved ? Perhaps…

I talk quietly to my own self most of the times..
Am I busy ? It is for you to decide…

I write more than I talk…
Am I a recluse ? Whatever !

I like my birthdays to be a real quiet affair…
Am I not allowed to chose it to be so ? May be not…

I prefer to spend more on books than on clothes…
Am I a book worm ? I am

I am not much into fine dining.
Am I non – explorative ? Doesn’t matter …

I spend maximum of my Sundays at home
Am I not happening ? Theek hai koi baat nahi

Is this me ? I guess so..
Is there more to me ? Yes, I guess so…

Because, anyone who has read them will always know – that the literally BEST SELLING FICTION series has absolutely nothing to do with magic. Magic in Harry Potter is like that beautiful background music in a play. You realize its absence only when it stops. Just, when it comes to HP, the magic never stops! When not weaving magic through the wand waving, Rowling weaves magic through the beautiful emotions she has so aptly portrayed in the series.

Rowling mesmerizes me even today after all these years. I remember  being lost in Harry’s world, being at Hogwarts, having superb friends, being intelligent like Hermione, being brave like Harry, being the superb friend like Ron, being perfect like Dumbledore. The lessons that I have with me; all find their root in the 7 books! It is like the 7 books have 7 super amazing life lessons for me. Though the magic she used is so perfect and complete in every sense, what I learned from her was –

• Every time Harry fought Voldemort he was alone. There are some battles in life where it is just you and the opponent. You may have had as much help ( and you should appreciate it) as you needed, but the last step you have to take. No one else is going to do it for you. You have to fight your own battles.

• Harry never saw his parents. His godfather died when he had just started growing on him. His best friends died. But the battle continued. And he won. Rowling appears to be a believer in the Karma Yoga. Like I do. No matter what happens in life, what situations you face, you have to always do your duty. In the battlefield of life there is no backing off. Can you please go ahead and say Gita was just a piece of magic? If not, even Harry Potter isn’t a piece of riff raff !
• I have always been enchanted with the mirror of Erised – which incidentally is Desire spelled backwards. Absolutely loved the concept of ‘being able to see your normal reflection if you are the happiest person of the world’. But more than that, I was glad Harry could fight the temptation of losing his head to the charms of the mirror. I saw inspiration & perseverance. Rowling helped to be inspired at the tender age of 8. Rowling taught me that ‘our most desperate desires do nothing apart from wasting us’. No one else gave that lesson in a better way.

• Dumbledore – the man who taught me the value of intelligence, hard work & choosing the Good over everything else in life. He taught me that importance of forgiveness, second chances, of complete souls, of love. Most importantly, he taught me how to value fellow beings. Rowling’s words through Dumbledore “Don’t pity the dead Harry. Pity the living. And above all, pity those who live without love.” They spell a life long lesson for me.

• Snape ! My favorite character (I hated him till 6^th part; like many others). He taught me the value of profound love. A candid confession with candor I make – if I fall in love, it would be like the way Snape loved. A lesson I learnt when I was 17; that which many adults seemingly fail to understand. As much as I try, I cannot captivate into words the plethora of emotions that Snape’s love story kindles in many a Potter fans. Here my words deceive me.

• The most important lesson that I had came through Voldemort. It is – when you have a dream, relentlessly pursue it. Do what it takes to achieve it. But, also remember that if the achievements have come while you were on the path of evil, you will meet a dead end some day. May be you live 10 years or 50 years with the evil. But ultimately, there will be an end. There is no such thing as immortality of mortals. Yes. Immortality exists. But only through your deeds, ideas, thoughts.

• While my life’s foundation was being laid, I learned that there is much more to life than power, ambition and success. There is love, friendship, respect, trust & a strong reason between good and evil.

And you thought Harry Potter was all about magic! It makes my belief even stronger – never judge a book by its movie or cover. True it is fantasy fiction. But it taught me more about life than any other thing could ever do.

There were / are people who did not like the way the book ended. Looking out for some important deaths were you? I am perfectly happy with the way Rowling ended it. Because, she has left so many loose ends. Many places the book could start again. And I would be the same enthusiastic reader that I was 11 years ago. And I would love nothing more than a book on Snape’s story. It would a worthy read.

Harry Potter is one story among many that grips children even today; 11 years after it took the reader’s world by storm, it still amazes me like never before. I still find different angles, I still cry if I read an emotional part, I still wonder what would it be like if there did it exist a world like this. But wait ! Who says it doesn’t? In the hearts of all those millions who have loved Harry, he still lives. His world exists, teaching a new lesson everyday. Even if Rowling would have killed Harry, he would have lived on; a fiction character that taught many a children the real life. Inspired to live life as Rowling rightly puts it –

 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death 

Thank you Joanne Kathleen Rowling for giving me a better childhood .

I wrote this on behalf of some friend ( Don’t remember exactly )

It’s irrevocable
The way I love you
I love you so much
As if, everywhere it’s you… only you

From me comes an aura
That reminds me of you
My energy, my life… my soul
All start from you & end in you…

The pain that grips you there
Breaks me every moment here
An eternity passed with each second
When I knew I couldn’t care…when I wasn’t there

The supple beauty of your touch
The forever present warmth
Feels like a beautiful era bygone
My heart refuses.. It just can’t move on

I fear I will forget your face
It is the only treasure I have
I fear the memories will slip away
In them I find all the courage I have…

My laughter, my eyes, my smile…
They miss the profound beauty of your love
My very incomplete soul misses,
The perfection in having you, my Love !

Crazy, it has to be – the way I love you
The best thing, about me – is YOU
Irrevocable, immutable, unchangeable, absolute
It is every day that I thank God – he brought me you

……………………………..

Another poem – I love it when

There were many things that made me lose my heart to the place called Andamans. One of them was this mesmerizing picture. It has left a mark like none other and has inspired this small little write up on ‘What I expect out of my holiday in Andaman & Nicobar Islands’.

As I closed my eyes, this is all I could imagine …

The serene beach…

The greens, blues, whites, browns… the hues of the golden Sun…

The salty smell of the waters which was sweeter than honeysuckle…

The crunch of gravel and then the softness of the wet sand…

The perfect shape of my small footprints on the soil…

The soft touch of the flowers that my feet could feel as I tread on them, strewn all over the beach…

The beauty of what I saw when I closed my eyes for a moment to savor this…

It was like Andamans was making an irrevocable imprint on my soul, a mark of beauty, a mark of Life.

I have always imagined my morning to be like this whenever I get to holiday in Andamans. The Emerald Isle (better known as Andaman & Nicobar Islands) has always been one of the dream holiday destinations. And everytime I think of it, all I do is ‘smile’ and ‘anticipate’; whether it will be more beautiful than my imaginations or much more beautiful. Being less than what I think, is not a possibility, I am sure.

Andamans was already reaching up to my soul… mending repairs with each step that I took towards the sea. The horizon far ahead had a strange magnetic pull to it; as if the crashing waves had a lesson to teach, an answer to preach. The persistence of the beauty that I was witnessing and the song that nature was playing for me- were spelling perfection for me. At that very moment my feet met the water. The cool blue water. Had I known Bliss before? May be yes. May be no. But this moment was one of its kind.

I was having a rendezvous with life. Khayyam saab’s words reverbated in my ears – “Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

I closed my eyes and spread my hands to welcome the warmth that I was witnessing. The feel of embracing the winds, the light, the music – I felt as if I was being untangled ! The serene, impeccably clean and quiet beach of a far off island by the name Andaman was teaching me a great lesson of life – life is beautiful, very beautiful. If only you know how to celebrate the small, random things in life.

I was happy. Happy as I allowed ‘me’ to take over my own self while squatting at the beach for like hours, looking at passers by taking a stroll at the beach. Happy as I made doodles and meaningless pattern on the wet sand and saw them being washed away by the ferociously beautiful waves. Happy when the waves brought me back a beautiful stray shell as a memoir.

I was happy that I was having the best conversation with myself, that I was finding some part of myself which I had lost somewhere in the pace of life. I was happy that I was making friends with my best friend – myself!

I am not much of an adventure person. Yet, the coral reefs are the second priority on my list of to dos during this holiday. If I am done with romancing nature, I would definitely want to have a look at these marvels of nature. A fortnight or may be more, of ceaseless vistas of blue and beauty would be a perfect window to rejuvenate and emerge. A beach cottage would perhaps be the perfect place to be known as home then.

Andamans is different things for different people. Romantic getaways, adventure getaways, exploration getaways – you name it and you will find something in Andamans for sure. I do not know whether I go with friends or family. But, I know that I will have my moments of solitude. For me, it will always be a journey of finding peace, even if momentary. It is the place where I would want the mind and heart to come to confluence. In solidarity I would like to have the best companionship of my own self in a place like Andaman. It is where I am sure to find respite from life, where I am sure to find a better, simpler and more wanted life.